S is for Spectator
by Manan Dhuldhoya
A is for Akhand, a nation not for others.
B is for Beef, carved from the flesh of our mothers.
C is for Corruption, finally cleansed from society.
D is for Dalit, with whom contact brings notoriety.
E is for English, that vile vestige we can’t divest.
F is for Feku, he of that formidable chest.
G is for Gandhi, who can’t be left to last.
H is Hindu, a bright beacon from our past.
I is for Islam, of brothers forced to a new name.
J is for Jammu, where patriots stake their claim.
K is for Kashmir, where AFSPA is surely a must.
L is for LoC, a challenge drawn in the dust.
M is for Marxist, screaming traitorously from every college.
N is for Naxalite, whose false claims we cannot acknowledge.
O is OBC, who must be taught to live their name.
P is for Pappu, craving his own claim to fame.
Q is for Queer, the insignificant though not the few.
R is for RSS, the last bastion of the true.
S is for Sedition, wielded by hook or crook.
T is for Tribal, not content to pose for a book.
U is for Una, where ingrates dare to fret.
V is for Vijay Diwas, lest the enemy ever forget.
W is for Wani, the turncoat in our midst.
X marks the graves we don’t know even exist.
Y is Yesudas, barred from his Lord’s keep.
Z is for Zzzz, because the nation’s clearly asleep.
Manan Dhuldhoya. Born to travel, forced to commute. Even Google throws up only one of him.